Geo-Bachelorette Chronicles

10 Things About Being a Geo-Bachelorette

4:30 PM

I'd go anywhere with you.
  Distance only makes the heart grow fonder, right? I guess this is something that I've always had to convince myself. It's harder on the nights where everyone you know is doing their own thing with their S.O. and you're at home sitting on the couch eating a pint of Halo chocolate ice cream. Unluckily, my husband and I are not going to be living together for at least another year and a half. That's the harsh reality of being a dual military couple, and having to live the life of a "geo-bachelor/bachelorette."

  And although I'm accustomed to the saying that "everyone has their own battles," trust me when I say, "I don't give a damn that your S.O. travels for a week of work once in a blue moon." Especially if they're in the same state, same country, same continent, or same hemisphere for that matter. Because living this life, even though I put up with it every day, is probably the shittiest way to live a "happily" married life.

  Now that I've gotten my pity party out of the way, there's at least ten things I've gained from being a geo-bachelorette... Are they legit or nah?

10. There is so much less to clean - I don't know about you, but I have the habit of walking around my house and fixing small things when they're out of place. Even if it means shoving a bunch of papers into a cabinet so the clutter is out of sight. My husband isn't that messy, but he's definitely not up to my standard of OCD clean. He tries, and I think that's the best part of having him home. Watching him show me that he tidied up with a big smile on his face... it shows me that he cares. The sad part is after he leaves from a long visit, I actually miss his mess... but just for a little bit.

9. You can watch whatever you want on Netflix - I binge Netflix like it's everybody's business, including my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, since we all share my husband's account (thanks for letting us all leech, babe!) So if I want to watch an entire season of RuPaul's Drag Race after a four day stretch of work, then by all means, I am going to watch two seasons. No longer will I have to hide in another room while my husband watches the Walking Dead!

8. You can eat things that you want to eat - My husband tends to eat the same 4 to 5 dishes in rotation when he's at home. When he asks me to guess what he's eating, I only have to guess a few different things: spam & eggs, tocino & eggs, longanisa & eggs, pizza rolls, or ramen & soft boiled eggs. My husband isn't a complicated fellow, and I know that he has a better palate than this... but I can be happy in my home, sharing healthy food with my mom.

7. Jetsetter Status - You earn a lot of air mileage - I don't think I've earned quite the amount of miles my husband has, as he's been to Europe four times this year, but I'll get there. The biggest con to this pro is that it is expensive to see each other. (There's always got to be a little bad with the good.) But when we do earn enough miles, it makes the reward a little better. Plus having such short bursts of time together, we always use that time to explore different countries. Talk about international love.

6. The small things become the most meaningful - When my husband visits and he makes me coffee before work, and gets me yogurt with the infamous "banana, granola, chia seeds, and coconut" toppings, I can almost guarantee that my ovaries go into overdrive. Because even when I snooze my alarm to soak in his warmth for the iPhone's 7-minute snooze, he takes care of those things so I don't have to. When he sits in my patient lounge and talks with them while I work, so we can have lunch together... When he leaves the scent of his cologne on my pillows after I drop him off at the airport... Okay, I'm tearing up just writing this, but you get what I mean!

5. You become very good at listening to them - I used to struggle with this a lot when we first started dating, but we have grown so much since then. Whether it be a state or an ocean that separates you, listening is the one thing you can do to guarantee a strong relationship. It builds your trust in each other, it gives you insight to how they're feeling that day, and you really get to know your partner on a different level. Of course communication is part body language, but that's why we have our handy-dandy Skype apps.

4. "One please!" - You're not uncomfortable traveling alone and eating out for one - I live for the days when I can hear my husband say "two please!" But when I'm alone, I've become comfortable going to a restaurant and sitting by myself, or just ordering out.

3. You have time to focus on yourself - This is probably the most selfish thing I have to say about being a geo-bachelorette. I have so much time to focus on all of the things that I've been wanting to accomplish. My workout routine has gotten so intense since I've moved to Germany, so not only my physical health, but my mental health has gotten a big boost here. I'm working on my second year of nursing here, and I've already gained so much experience in my career. If my husband lived here, all I would want to do is go home to be with him, but since he's not waiting for me at home with food, then I'm more open to spending time at work when I need to.

2. You learn to value each other's company - Being in the military, we can't really plan out very far ahead in advance. Tickets are a last minute buy, every time. Training, FTXs, and different programs come up and ruin our plans frequently. We've survived two deployments and one overseas tour already. So when we see each other, we make sure we try to pack in as much "things we should have been doing as a married couple" that we can. Since we've been married, we've only been together a little less than a month.

1. Every reuniting kiss feels like a first kiss - With #2 being said, every time we are reunited, it feels like we're in the honeymoon stage all over again. Honestly I don't think we ever left, but that's just me. I know there are people out there saying, "what if you hate each other when you do live together?" Well, those people obviously don't know how me and my husband are. He drives me crazy, but he's my favorite type of crazy. I'll take every "first kiss" I can get from him.

Today is definitely one of those days that I have to convince myself that being apart right now isn't as bad as it seems. I get to grow, he gets to learn his new role as an officer, and... that's it really. Because living apart really sucks. I need to think of more things to convince myself that I'll be okay.

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